Welcome To the World Baby Boy!

Let's just say my pregnancy was no where normal. I almost lost Toby at 6 weeks, ended up in the ER at 20 weeks with another UTI, had the biggest scare of my life when I started bleeding bright red in the middle of Wal-Mart due to another UTI and got to spend a night in labor and delivery at 24 weeks, and found out I had gestational diabetes at 28 weeks.

I started living at the doctors office, as my nurses joked,a t 33 weeks when I started weekly non-stress tests and ultrasounds at the hospital. It was during a fluid check at 34 weeks, when the tech decided to do a growth ultrasound, that we found out that Toby was only measuring 32 weeks, 2 weeks behind. Also, during my NST's, I was having contractions, some pretty big ones I wasn't even feeling.

When I hit 35 weeks, Zach had to go to Groton for 3 weeks. The night he left for Groton, after some lovin, I started spotting. I was also having horrible back pain. I called my doctor who told me drink water and time my contractions and she would call back. After an hour, she still hadn't called back and they weren't getting better, so I called her back. She sounded irriated and said she would meet me at the hospital, so she could check me and said, and I quote, "I want to check you so you won't call me again at 2 am. If you're not in labor, I'm sending you home." Zach was already gone, so I called a friend to drive me to the hospital. I was nervous the whole drive up, but we finally got there. I was changed into a gown and was put on the monitor and the first thing the nurse noticed was all the contractions I was having. She hooked me up to an IV and then I was wheeled down to ultrasound. They checked baby boy, which again, they noticed he was till measuring 2 weeks behind and checked my cervical length. Once I got back to my room, my doctor was there. She checked me for dilation and said that I was 2 cm dilated and noticed all the contractions I was having popping up on the screen. She decided to keep me overnight to make sure the contractions didn't make dilate even more and told me they were going to give me a shot of terbutaline to stop the contractions. She said she would be back in the morning to check me. I remember getting the shot of terbutaline and feeling very loopy. The nurses told me to try to sleep, but I stayed on the phone with Zach, talking about wanting cookies, haha, until I couldn't stay awake anymore. I was in pain all night, but apparently the contractions had stopped enough and I was sent home.

I started bi-weekly NST's and ultrasounds after that. Toby was still measuring 2 weeks behind. I asked Dr. Shick what was going to happen. She explained that they usually let Mom hit 37 weeks and then intervene. My ultrasounds consisted of cord dopplering and bio-physical profiles. I was always told to wait in the waiting room so the tech could talk to my doctor. Jamie and I kept joking that they were going to send me to L&D and Toby was going to make his appearance. Finally, after my 36 week NST and ultrasound, I got the call from my doctors office saying I was going to be induced the next wee once I hit 37 weeks. I was in a state of shock and excitment. My due date was still a good almost 4 weeks away and I was on the verge of being a mommy the next week!

I woke up the morning of December 10th after maybe 4 hours of sleep, at 4 am. I was so nervous and excited I couldn't sleep. Jamie and Jenn told me they would both stay with me in the hospital until Zach got there. My doctor wanted to start the induction at 7, but I explained to Dr. Allison that Zach wasn't going to be able to leave Groton until 2 and I wanted to stall. She told me to come in later than 7. About 8, Jenn showed up and we waited for Jamie. We loaded up Jamie's jeep with my pillow, bag,and Toby's diaper bag and headed for the hospital. In an attempt to kill time, we stopped at Price Chopper to get snacks. We finally arrived at the hospital and I registered and was sent to Labor and delivery. I changed into my gown and got in bed. The nurse hooked me up to the fetal monitors and put in my IV's. A guy came in to take some blood. Finally, Dr. Shick came in and explained the induction process. The nurse started the pitocin about 9, maybe a little after. I was 2 cm dilated, 90% effaced, and -2 station. I remember just laying in bed, talking to Jamie and Jenn, watching TV. The nurse came and asked how I was feeling. I told her, like I was on my period, but not too bad. She said she was going to turn down the pitocin because my contractions were coming to close together. About noon, Dr. Shick came back and checked me and said there was no change. I remember saying, "Good" and she looked at me and kinda laughed. She decided to break my water. I remember feeling like I had peed myself. haha. She said she was concerned because my water was blood tinged and she would keep an eye on it. NO meconium though, thank goodness! After my water bag was broke, the contractions started coming stronger. They started to feel more painful. I remember they'd hit and I couldn't do anything through them. The nurse was there telling me to hang in there and rubbing my back through them. I remember Jenn asking me after a contraction if there was anything they could do, but I said no. I tried to hold off as long as I could, but by like 1 I asked for the epidural. The anestesiologist came in and we explained that I had scolosis. She said that there was a chance that the epidural might not take and she would try her hardest to place it. She had to do an ultrasound on my back because I still have a curve in my back. I remember my nurse and Dr. Shick being in the room as she was trying to place it. Honestly, the neeedle didn't hurt. I was having some pretty bad contractions and they were worse. The thing that hurt was her moving the needle in my back. Finally, it was in and I instantly felt better. I lay back down and Zach called and said he was on his way. I decided to try to take a nap. I remember having a horrible sensation, I remember telling Jamie, "I think I have to poop. I might poop!" haha! She just calmly said with a straight face, "Hey, if you do, it happens." HAHA! That's a good friend right there. About 3, a new nurse came in and she was the sweetest. She kept calling me sweetie or love. She checked me and said I was now 8 cm! I had progressed 6 cm in 3 hours! She told me if I started to feel like I had to poop, to let her know. She then told me that Dr. SHick would be on her way after the office closed. I started feeling that unbearable pressure and I did feel like I had to poop. Dr. Shick showed up about 4:30 and checked me and said I was 10 cm and ready to push. She told me I could try to wait for Zach to get there. I decided to try and wait. I tried my hardest, but the pressure was so unbearable, I couldn't take it anymore. I told her I had to push. She told me since this was my first baby, there was a good chance I could be pushing for an hour of more. She told me to push and see if the baby moved any. At 4:45 I grabbed my legs, gave it everything I could, and started pushing. The nurse and Dr. Shick told me I was a natural. I pushed with everything I had, especially when he started crowning. It burnt so bad! I just wanted his head out! HAHA! I remember Dr. Shick telling me he had a full head of black hair. At 5:01 pm, Zachery Tobias was born! As I was giving my last push, Dr. Shick told me to look down and I did. He was so tiny and had the tiniest little cry, but he was beautiful! As soon as I heard his little cry, I started crying. I saw his left hand and I was shocked. It was not there. We were told he had a left hand and fingers, but there were no fingers. It took me by surprise to see it! However, he was doing great! He was pink and crying, and despite being so tiny, he was perfect. He even scored an 8-9 on his APGAR. He was 5 lbs 4.2 oz and 19 inches long! I was in shock and awe. I couldn't believe I had actually done it, I had just given birth! I was shaking from my epidural. I couldn't wait to hold my baby. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, the nurse handed me my beautiful baby boy all swaddled in his blanket! He was so tiny and perfect. I instantly fell in love!

Holding my baby boy for the first time!


Zachery Tobias-December 10, 2009 5:01 pm 5 lbs 4.2 oz and 19 inches long!


My Little Peanut!


Daddy holding his baby boy!


My L&D helpers, Jamie and Jenn!


All cleaned up and swaddled!


My beautiful baby boy!

Life Changes In the Blink Of An Eye

July 29, 2009. 2 days after my 23rd birthday and 1 day shy of being 18 weeks pregnant,I had my big ultrasound. I scheduled the appointment about a month in advance and I was anxiously counting the days down, the day we'd find out if we were having a boy or girl! Not thinking, I scheduled a 3 pm appointment, so I sat anxiously waiting all day as time dragged on! Finally, it was almost time! Due to miscommunication, I picked Zach up from work about 15 minutes before my appointment and had to speed to Saratoga. Finally, we were there! My ultrasound tech was super awesome and very nice. She talked all during the ultrasound and then asked, "Do you want to know the sex?" Yes! "It looks like a boy!" she said. I was kinda shocked. I had secretly thought I was having a girl, everyone but my brother and Zach's brother thought we were having a girl! I looked over at Zach and said in disbelief, "It's a boy!" as if he hadn't heard. HAHA! The rest of the ultrasound was a blur, but I do remember the tech having trouble getting a picture of baby boy's left hand. She figured it was probably because he was laying on it. She gave us a disk full of pictures and sent us on our way.

The next day, I was sitting watching TV, still floating from the excitement knowing that the baby in my belly was a boy, even amazed that the outfit Jamie and I had found at TJ Maxx the day before the ultrasound just happened to be a boy outfit. I didn't know it when I bought it! Then I got the call...it was the nurse from my doctors office telling me I was being sent to Albany Med for a level 2 ultrasound. I was in shock...all she told me that there seemed to be problem, I asked her what kinda of problem, but she told me she couldn't tell me because she didn't have the ultrasound report in front of her. After that, we hung up. I immediately started crying. I was all alone, Zach was at work, I had just gotten news that something was possibly wrong with my baby. I didn't know what to do. Should I call Zach at work? Was this a big enough emergency to call him at work? Should I call the doctors office back to find out more? Yes! That's what I decided to do.I called back and demanded to speak to someone who knew exactly what was going in. I fought back tears as I talked to another nurse, who actually had the report in front of her, explain to me that the radiologist who read the ultrasound said that it appeared that baby boy had no fingers on his left hand and his left humerus bone was measuring short. This was the reason I was being sent for a level 2 ultrasound.

The day of the ultrasound, I was alone. Zach was on swings and his schedule was all jacked up, so I decided to go on my own. It was honestly one of the scariest moments of my life. I lay on the table in the dark room, while the tech did the ultrasound, not telling me anything, then rushed off to get the periontologist who came in and pressed and prodded my belly for over 30 minutes, saying nothing with no experession on his face. Finally, he confirms that baby boys left humerus is indeed measuring shorter than the right and he thinks he has fingers on his left hand, but doesn't think they have seperated. He then asks me if I want to do an amniocetessis to see if there are any more problems. I tell him no. He asks me why and I say that I hear there is a chance of miscarriage. He explains it's a very very low chance and I say no, I don't want to risk it. He then makes me feel like I'm in the wrong for refusing the amnio. He then explains that I will be back every month for ultrasounds until I deliver to see how his hand and arm are growing.

I remember driving home feeling so scared and upset. As soon as I got home I told Zach what the doctor had said and just cried. I blamed myself, I felt like I had done something wrong or didn't do something I should have done. After all, he was growing and developing in my body, at had to be something I did. Zach held me as /i cried and told me it was nothing I did, things just happen. That no matter what, we were going to love him.

As mother's, we have an idea of a picture perfect pregnancy, a picture perfect baby. We never imagine that something could go wrong. I know I wasn't prepared to hear what I heard. I was angry, I wanted to know why drug addicts who do drugs during their pregnancies, women who drink or smoke when pregnant, or even those women on I Didn't KNow I was Pregnant who get no prenatal care, can have perfectly healthy babies. When I tried to do everything right, I tried to avoid caffeine, deli meats, etc and this happens to my baby. It wasn't fair!

So that's our story...the beginning of our story...

The Beginning: A Blob In A Blob

The beginning of our baby boy...a blob in a blob! HAHA! This is what his Daddy said when he saw his first ultrasound. I want to use this entry to tell about finding out I was pregnant with my Toby and my early pregnancy.

After spending 4 months in Texas, Zach came home on leave for our anniversary to visit me for our anniversary in early April. We hadn't seen each other in 4 months...what do you think happened? HAHA. Zach left back to NY on April 13th. Thinking back to that day now, I was way more emotional over him leaving then I had ever been before. Enter clue one. HAHA. Also, thinking back, I remember the night before Easter Sunday, having a big of spotting, but thought nothing of it. I figured it had something to do with the cysts I was having trouble with since the previous August. Clue number 2. Clue number 3, a sudden random craving for egg rolls. Driving home from class, I had to have an egg roll, and I had to have it now. I remember driving to United to buy some frozen egg rolls to make to take to work. All these clues, and I still had no idea I could even be pregnant.

The night of April 20th, I went to bed feeling pretty nauseous. I thought it was probably something I ate and figured I would feel fine the next morning. I had no trouble falling asleep, however, about midnight I woke up with the overwhelming feeling I was about to puke. I ran to the bathroom, which luckily was close to my room, and got the toilet, but the puke didn't come. I remember walking back to bed thinking, hmmm...that was weird. I got up the next day and went about my day, went to class and work after wards. It was at work however, that I noticed I felt really tired. I couldn't stop yawning and had the hardest time keeping my eyes open. I was exhausted! I remember going home that night, I was staying with Zach's parents at the time,a nd telling my mother in-law about the almost puking incident and being tired. The first words out of her mouth were, "You're pregnant." I laughed her off and said, "Yeah, right." I remember leaving the room and going straight to the couch and laying down. I was so tired! Later that night, she was like, "Let's go buy a pregnancy test!" and I was like, "I'm pretty sure it's way to early to know." That didn't discourage her, haha. We got in the car and drove to United at like 10 pm to buy a pregnancy test. I remember immediately going to take the pregnancy test, and after I had done my business, within seconds, a plus sign, a very faint one, but still a plus sign popped up. The first words out of my mouth were, "Oh fuck!" and the next were me screaming, "Anna!!" HAHA. I had to have her come see if she saw what I saw. Sure enough, she did! I was in shock, I had no idea there was even a chance I could be pregnant. I was set to move back to NY that Friday. I remember my last day of school, as soon as I left school, I stopped at Wal-Mart and bought another test. Sure enough, it was still positive, the plus sign was even darker now. By the time I got back to New York on the 24th of April, I took a test with Zach, and it was very clearly a positive. I had it confirmed by the doctor on April 27th.I was about 4 weeks pregnant when I found out.

At almost 6 weeks, I started spotting. It started as a light pink spotting, but I was still freaked out. I immediately called my doctor who told me it was probably nothing to worry about, just keep an eye on it. 2 days later it was still happening. I finally spoke to another one of my doctors who told me she was worried I could be RH negative and wanted to get my blood type and get me checked out to make sure everything was okay. Zach and I headed to the ER that night. They did a ton of bloodwork, I got to pee in a cup, the works. Finally, the doctor, who happened to be a formed OB came in and told me that for one thing, I was dehydrated, so I had to be hooked up to an IV. Secondly, she said there was white blood cells in my urine, indicating a UTI. Finally, I was wheeled down to ultrasound. Despite how scared I was, I was excited at the same time. I would get to see my baby for the first time! I got to the room and the tech immediately told me she couldn't tell me anything, but did let me see the screen. I remember seeing my peanut on the screen for the first time! It was so little! Then I saw the most amazing thing, the little flicker on the screen, my peanuts heartbeat! The look on the techs face made me nervous. She wasn't supposed to tell me anything, but I remember her saying the heart rate was only 76 bpms and she looked worried. I was wheeled back to my room where the doctor told me that they were concerned that the heart rate was only 76 bpms. It should have been in the 100's she explained. She explained that there could be many reasons why, one being that I may miscarry. She said there was no way of knowing and we would have to wait it out. She diagnosed me with a threatened miscarriage, gave me prescription for macrobid, told me to followup with my OB, and sent me on my way.

I was sent for a followup ultrasound at 7 weeks, which showed a growing baby with a heart rate up to 126 bpms! However, I got a call from my OB saying they wanted yet another followup ultrasound the following week because my yolk sac appeared mis-shapen. I went for another ultrasound at 8 weeks, and everything was just fine! The hear rate was up to 167 bpms and the yolk sac was just fine!

Here's the blob in the blob as his Daddy described it. Toby at 7 weeks!


Toby at 8 Weeks!

The Oh-So Famous Introductory Blog!

So after all the drama that has taken place this week, I decided I wanted to start a blog. I'm probably going to use this blog mostly to update about Toby and some of our day to day life. I think that if people read this, they may get a better understanding of our situation and why we're choosing the path we're choosing for Toby. With that being said, here we go!